Dear Morning,
I hate you. You are not dear to me. I should have said wretched morning, but that’s not much of a way to start a communique. I don’t understand why you continue to come around EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. When I am trying to sleep, no less! Have you no common courtesy?No decency? Don’t you know when you are not welcome? With your sunshine and your birds. The only good thing about you is that you bring me coffee. Please leave me alone. I much prefer your cousin, 10am.

Dear Nap,
Oh dear, sweet nap. You called to me alluringly, beckoning me to the bed for a sweet interlude in the middle of the day. After the disruption of Morning, I thought, “A visit with Nap is just what I need to brighten my day.” And so I responded to your invitation, and savored your delights. And yet, you have wrecked my day. Because now it is evening, and the kids haven’t been fed or bathed yet, and I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep tonight.

Dear Night,
I adore you. You bring me peace and quiet. And TV shows and movies that are not animated. I love the time you give me to read uninterrupted. I just wish I had more energy to be productive in those quiet hours you bring. Now all I can think about is my dear Nap, and that maybe I shouldn’t’ve have that cup of black tea this afternoon. I love you, Night, and we’ve shared many great years, but I think we need to stop spending so much time together. I’m getting too old for you. Please let me go to sleep now. I have a feeling Morning is going to come around way too early.

Dear Daylight Savings Time,
You are the worst visitor in the history of the world. Granted, I don’t mind so much when you visit in the fall and give me an extra hour of Night, but when you come in the spring and bring Morning with you, much too early, it is just cruel. I ought to stop playing your game, and yet every year you do this to me. And I let you. Why do I let you? I am too tired to argue. But please, can you just not come next year? Come in the fall with your extra hour, but don’t take it away again in the spring, okay? You better bring me an extra cup of coffee today. Then maybe I’ll forgive you.