This morning over breakfast I opened up my Month of Dedication book and saw Psalm 51 as the reading prompt for today. Now, I wrote many of the daily prompts, but I don’t have the book memorized, so I found it pretty amazing that the “Snack” verse for today was the very verse I was thinking last night that I should look up: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me…” I love how God surprises me sometimes! I was thinking of this verse in response to yesterday’s action challenge about creating a visual reminder for what you are turning to. One of the main things for my own life I am praying for during the Month, is a “cleaner heart.” A heart that is not selfish, nor quick to anger, one that listens better to God and others, and does the right things from the right motivations.

12 hours later… I wrote the above this morning, and now, about 12 hours later, I realize how very much I really need that cleaner heart, for all the reasons I wrote this morning. The details aren’t important, but let’s just say, I blew it today. I was rude without cause, I was short-tempered, and I hurt the ones I love most: my family. Why? Basically, I had an agenda, and they weren’t cooperating. It’s as simple as that. When we look at our lives in black and white, very seldom do our unkind actions seem justified. But in the moment, there is all the “stuff” built up that, at least for me, seems to blow things out of proportion, because it’s not that one little thing, really, it’s all the history, the pent up frustrations, the pressure we put on ourselves to make things however we think they should be, and the assumptions we make — essentially, we get selfish. I have never been very patient, but oh, how I wish I had been more patient today.
I share this with you because I know that anytime we decide to pursue God, Satan is sure to try to mess everything up. He doesn’t want us to get closer to God, so –however it is that he works– he somehow gets in and brings us challenges. I can’t explain exactly how it happens, there is just too much I don’t know about the spiritual realm. But I know from my experience and that of so many others, that when we try to run to God, well, all hell tends to break loose. And if it is happening to me, there is a good chance it is happening to you too.
Good thing I have so much experience apologizing! And it is a good thing that God has given us an open channel to Him. I can pray, and especially if I can pray with the person I have hurt, then God is there, and we can begin anew.
Jesus, I turn to you, now. Please Lord, give me what I lack, help me stay close to you, and I pray nothing could come between me and the freedom you have designed for me. Day by day, I choose you.

By the way… if you haven’t read up on planning your feast with God, check out some suggestions here. I have done this a few times, and it is great! Hard to fit in the schedule, perhaps, but totally worth the effort. I hope you can do this!